Some how, this blog has started to have a little structure.
We have Meal planning Monday’s, Toddler Tuesday’s and Silent Sunday’s and now? Throw back Thursday’s!
I love alliteration.
Today’s throw back Thursday is a long one. It’s only my bloody labour story. My gorgeous friends over at Papa Pete have recently shared their labour story and even though we are two years on, I want to share mine. So get comfy and here we go …….
E was born on a Wednesday morning at 11:27am. I had a fast labour, not even 4 hours but so much happened so I’ll start at the beginning.
I had a terrible pregnancy, I suffered Hyperemisis and hyper sensitivity. E was poorly too, she had/was IUGR. I was having regular scans, tests, monitoring and we made it to 35 weeks before things went wrong enough to warrant an early induction. We had known from 28 weeks that every day was a blessing so to get to 35 felt amazing!
I had had an emergancy scan on the Tuesday morning after some worrying symptoms had started to develop. In the scan I instantly knew something wasn’t right. Like I said we had been having lots of scans and we have built up a relationship with the sonographer but rather than reassure us this time, she sent us straight to another place in the hospital.
I was hooked up to a monitor and a female consultant came in, I hadn’t met her before but she had a kind face and excellent trousers on. (I later learnt they were from next) She explained I needed to be induced and if the baby wasn’t born within 24 hours – A c section. I won’t go into the details but my body had begun to fail and E was struggling. We were sent, clutching our notes and very scared, to a labour ward where we were told there were no beds so I was to go have some lunch and wait for them call me. I had a ham panini. They called – we had a bed.
After settling in, at around 3:30pm, a very kind midwife entered my cervix and started the induction with a pessary. And then we waited. We played cards, walked around, had some supper and waited.
At around 10pm, Hubs was sent home and I was told to sleep. At 10:30pm I was woken by a midwife who had decided to give me the only room on the ward as they were all being loud and bleeps and she knew I would need to rest before my C section. It was almost a given that this induction would fail.
Going in to that room was a curse and blessing. At some point, alone in that room, labour began and it was intense. I didn’t realise though. I had told the night midwife as she came to say goodbye to me that I was in pain. She told me it was likely to be trapped wind. So I paced, winced, puked and cried through (what I now know to be) every contraction alone and with no pain relief. At around 9:45 my husband arrived and I begged him to put me in a warm bath. He chatted to the Midwife and she allowed it. I got in. I got out. I got in, I got out. Why was I in and out? Because I needed to push a poo out. Your with me right? That wasn’t a poo. It was E on her way. I still had no idea.
I got out the bath and waddled to the toilet where I was greeted by blood. In a panic I waddled to the mw station and demanded they helped me. She was sooooo dismissive but followed anyway.
As I lay on the bed and she pulled down my purple fleecy owl pjs I told her I was pushing and it felt good to do it so I wouldn’t be stopping. Still no idea I was in labour. She insisted I wouldn’t be in labour and then these words came from her mouth
‘She’s 10cm, fully, waters in tact and pushing’
From there it’s a blur. They insisted I moved rooms and pushed my bed to one where the blinds were open. Hubs went for a wee. I kept saying I scared. They told me not to be. They wanted me to get on a new bed. I couldn’t. They moved me. I kept pushing. They put a clip on her head. I could hear her heart rate dropping. Hubs came back and someone got him a chair. They someone got me the gas and air thing – I threw it. I pushed again. They cut me. Things were getting serious. Hubs was told where the red button was. The Drs were waiting outside. I pushed for all my life and my baby was born. In one whole movement, splashing waters on the midwife and totally silent. They put her on my chest but quickly took her away. We knew this would happen. She had been poorly remember. They bought her back and I held her for a few moments before she went to NICU. She was taken, I was stitched up and then I threw up. I went into shock. They pumped some drugs into me and a really nice lady came and washed me a bit. She told me I was brave. Someone else bought us food. I couldn’t eat, I wanted my baby. Hubs ate a yoghurt on my demand.
At some point they took me to the post labour ward. I was given a room away from everyone since I didn’t have my baby with me. I could still hear them crying. Then they took me to see her. She was sooooo tiny. And so beautiful. And I was so scared. I didn’t know how to touch her. I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t sit and I didn’t know what to do. A very nice nurse took me aside and explained everything and then told me to go back to my room, that E was well cared for and she would need me tomorrow. So we left.
Not long after hubs had to leave so I curled in the bed, alone and waited for the morning. I had asked not to be bothered but a kind lady bought me some toast and rubbed my leg, knowingly. The MW from the night shift who dismissed my pain came too. She hugged me, apologised and told me how brave I was. She looked at a picture of E and said she was beautiful.
And that was it, I was a mamma. I didn’t have my baby with me but I was so in love.